What did he or she just say that cut you to the core and sent you here digging for answers? I know you're replaying the words over and over in your head. You're angry. You're ready to leave them. This was the last time right? Right? No. You're not ready. You have too much history together. You just need answers. You need to know the why? Why did they say those awful things? It's like you stepped on a land mine. How do they go from hot to cold so fast? Does she love even me? Then how can she say those things... Are they bipolar? Evil? Can you fix them? Are you just too sensitive?
In my 10 years experience living with a narcissist, scouring the internet for hours looking for answers, I've learned that the only way to win is do this one thing. IMPROVE. Improve yourself. Do they call you fat or lazy? Improve. Go for walks. Exercise. No, I'm not saying your narcissist is right about you. In fact, most of what they use to insult you is actually what they feel are flaws within themselves. To be honest, I've read 100's of articles and stories. Most say a narcissist will never change and they basically don't have souls so you should leave them. But the people reading this, we aren't those kind of cut and run kind of people, which is part of the reason we find ourselves in this predicament in the first place. We can't be that powerful person, but we can take a step closer. We can improve. We can get in shape, take classes, get a better job. Just improve. In any way that you can. My hope for you, is that one day, when your narcissist is yelling and name-calling and trying to belittle you, when they cut you to the core...the new improved you won't need to come here or to any page looking for answers.
In my 10 years experience living with a narcissist, scouring the internet for hours looking for answers, I've learned that the only way to win is do this one thing. IMPROVE. Improve yourself. Do they call you fat or lazy? Improve. Go for walks. Exercise. No, I'm not saying your narcissist is right about you. In fact, most of what they use to insult you is actually what they feel are flaws within themselves. To be honest, I've read 100's of articles and stories. Most say a narcissist will never change and they basically don't have souls so you should leave them. But the people reading this, we aren't those kind of cut and run kind of people, which is part of the reason we find ourselves in this predicament in the first place. We can't be that powerful person, but we can take a step closer. We can improve. We can get in shape, take classes, get a better job. Just improve. In any way that you can. My hope for you, is that one day, when your narcissist is yelling and name-calling and trying to belittle you, when they cut you to the core...the new improved you won't need to come here or to any page looking for answers.
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